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Spring 2022
Social Skills for Young Children
Giving an Apology:
Example:
Anna: Hello father. I am sorry that I broke your favorite mug. I should have realized that it wasn’t my baseball when I went to throw a slider and couldn’t find the seams.
Father: I appreciate you saying that you are sorry.
Anna: Next time, I promise to double check that I am holding a ball and not a mug before I practice pitching. Do you accept my apology?
Father: I do accept your apology and I forgive you.
Anna: Thank you for your forgiveness. And of course, father, here is my toe.
***
Disagreeing with Someone:
Example:
Anna: Hello father. I have been stung by a bee and I can feel my throat closing up. Are you willing to drive me to the hospital?
Father: Sorry Anna, but a rerun of Hogan’s Heroes just came on TV. I can’t leave the house until it is over.
Anna: I understand that you have said no and that you would like to stay here and watch Hogan’s Heroes. That said, I worry that if I do not get to a hospital soon, my throat will swell to the point that I am unable to breathe and I will die. Now that you have heard my explanation, are you willing to drive me to the hospital?
Father: I’m sorry, but no. This episode is a very funny episode. A stern Nazi visits their prisoner of war camp and, as I’m sure you can imagine, hilarity ensues.
Anna: Dad, would it change your mind if I offered you a toe? Considering that my life is on the line, I am willing to give up a really good one. We are talking left center!
Father: Okay. If you are willing to give me your left middle toe, I am willing to drive you to the hospital. Let’s get in the car!
***
How to express frustration:
Example:
Anna: Fuck!
Father: Fuck!
Anna: Fuck!
Father: Good job!
***
Introducing yourself:
Example:
Anna: Hello, my name is Anna.
Father: I know. Did you finish cleaning your room?
Anna: It is very nice to meet you, I-know-did-you-finish-cleaning-your-room. How are you today?
Father: I’m really not in the mood for this right now. Can you just go and clean your room before your grandparents arrive?
Anna: Fuck!
Father: Fuck!
Anna: Will you clean my room for a toe?
Father: No, I’m full up on toes right now.
Anna: Okay, I’ll go and clean my room.
Father: Thank you.
Anna: You are welcome. I love you very much.
Father: And I you.
***
Asking for help:
Example:
Anna: Hello father. Are you willing to listen to me?
Father: Yes, Anna. What would you like to discuss?
Anna: I am in a bit of a bind. Recently, some kids at school have been calling me a dork.
Father: I am very sorry to hear that. How would you like me to help?
Anna: I am hoping that you will let me bring your Stereolab records into class to show everyone that I am not a dork. I am cool!
Father: You can take the Stereolab records into class if you want, but I have to warn you that your classmates might not find them as cool as we do.
Anna: But dad, who wouldn’t want to listen to those analog synthesizers and krautrock drum patterns?
Father: Unfortunately, most people.
Anna: I don’t understand.
Father: Do you know what I mean when I refer to a “cult band?”
Anna: Do you mean like the Kool-Aid and the matching sneakers?
Father: No. Wait, where did you hear about those cults?
Anna: I don’t know. The playground?
Father: It means they have loyal fans--
Anna: Like me!
Father: But a relatively small number of them.
Anna: Nooo!
Father: I was hoping that I wouldn’t have to teach you about this until you were older. I’m sorry to break the news in such a blunt manner. I thought I had more time to prepare.
Anna: But even if people don’t care about the retro pop vibes, my classmates will still care about the deeply political, Marxist lyrics.
Father: Wow. About that…
Anna: Not more bad news! Please! My heart can break only so many times in one day!
Father: Sorry, but that’s really more of a me and your mom thing. Most people in town might even find it a bit objectionable.
Anna: So what do I bring into class to prove that I am cool?
Father: Boy, I really don’t know.
Anna: Please, dad! Please!
Father: Maybe Ween records?
- Say that you are sorry
- Be specific about what you are apologizing for
- Explain how you will act differently in the future
- Ask whether they accept your apology
- Give them one of your toes to repay the damage you have caused.
Example:
Anna: Hello father. I am sorry that I broke your favorite mug. I should have realized that it wasn’t my baseball when I went to throw a slider and couldn’t find the seams.
Father: I appreciate you saying that you are sorry.
Anna: Next time, I promise to double check that I am holding a ball and not a mug before I practice pitching. Do you accept my apology?
Father: I do accept your apology and I forgive you.
Anna: Thank you for your forgiveness. And of course, father, here is my toe.
***
Disagreeing with Someone:
- Let them know that you have heard them and understand their decision
- Explain why you disagree and follow up to see if they have changed their mind
- If they still disagree, consider bribing them with a toe.
- Accept their final answer calmly and thank them for their time.
Example:
Anna: Hello father. I have been stung by a bee and I can feel my throat closing up. Are you willing to drive me to the hospital?
Father: Sorry Anna, but a rerun of Hogan’s Heroes just came on TV. I can’t leave the house until it is over.
Anna: I understand that you have said no and that you would like to stay here and watch Hogan’s Heroes. That said, I worry that if I do not get to a hospital soon, my throat will swell to the point that I am unable to breathe and I will die. Now that you have heard my explanation, are you willing to drive me to the hospital?
Father: I’m sorry, but no. This episode is a very funny episode. A stern Nazi visits their prisoner of war camp and, as I’m sure you can imagine, hilarity ensues.
Anna: Dad, would it change your mind if I offered you a toe? Considering that my life is on the line, I am willing to give up a really good one. We are talking left center!
Father: Okay. If you are willing to give me your left middle toe, I am willing to drive you to the hospital. Let’s get in the car!
***
How to express frustration:
- Shout “fuck!”
Example:
Anna: Fuck!
Father: Fuck!
Anna: Fuck!
Father: Good job!
***
Introducing yourself:
- Look the other person in the eyes
- Say, “Hello, my name is __________.”
- Listen as they say their name
- Say, “It is very nice to meet you, ________.”
Example:
Anna: Hello, my name is Anna.
Father: I know. Did you finish cleaning your room?
Anna: It is very nice to meet you, I-know-did-you-finish-cleaning-your-room. How are you today?
Father: I’m really not in the mood for this right now. Can you just go and clean your room before your grandparents arrive?
Anna: Fuck!
Father: Fuck!
Anna: Will you clean my room for a toe?
Father: No, I’m full up on toes right now.
Anna: Okay, I’ll go and clean my room.
Father: Thank you.
Anna: You are welcome. I love you very much.
Father: And I you.
***
Asking for help:
- Politely get the attention of the person you want to help you
- Explain the problem you are having
- Specify how they could help and ask if they are willing
- If the answer is yes, remember to thank them
Example:
Anna: Hello father. Are you willing to listen to me?
Father: Yes, Anna. What would you like to discuss?
Anna: I am in a bit of a bind. Recently, some kids at school have been calling me a dork.
Father: I am very sorry to hear that. How would you like me to help?
Anna: I am hoping that you will let me bring your Stereolab records into class to show everyone that I am not a dork. I am cool!
Father: You can take the Stereolab records into class if you want, but I have to warn you that your classmates might not find them as cool as we do.
Anna: But dad, who wouldn’t want to listen to those analog synthesizers and krautrock drum patterns?
Father: Unfortunately, most people.
Anna: I don’t understand.
Father: Do you know what I mean when I refer to a “cult band?”
Anna: Do you mean like the Kool-Aid and the matching sneakers?
Father: No. Wait, where did you hear about those cults?
Anna: I don’t know. The playground?
Father: It means they have loyal fans--
Anna: Like me!
Father: But a relatively small number of them.
Anna: Nooo!
Father: I was hoping that I wouldn’t have to teach you about this until you were older. I’m sorry to break the news in such a blunt manner. I thought I had more time to prepare.
Anna: But even if people don’t care about the retro pop vibes, my classmates will still care about the deeply political, Marxist lyrics.
Father: Wow. About that…
Anna: Not more bad news! Please! My heart can break only so many times in one day!
Father: Sorry, but that’s really more of a me and your mom thing. Most people in town might even find it a bit objectionable.
Anna: So what do I bring into class to prove that I am cool?
Father: Boy, I really don’t know.
Anna: Please, dad! Please!
Father: Maybe Ween records?
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