Social Skills for Young Children

Giving an Apology:
  1. Say that you are sorry 
  2. Be specific about what you are apologizing for
  3. Explain how you will act differently in the future
  4. Ask whether they accept your apology
  5. Give them one of your toes to repay the damage you have caused. 

Example:
Anna: Hello father. I am sorry that I broke your favorite mug. I should have realized that it wasn’t my baseball when I went to throw a slider and couldn’t find the seams. 
Father: I appreciate you saying that you are sorry. 
Anna: Next time, I promise to double check that I am holding a ball and not a mug before I practice pitching. Do you accept my apology? 
Father: I do accept your apology and I forgive you. 
Anna: Thank you for your forgiveness. And of course, father, here is my toe. 

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Disagreeing with Someone: 
  1. Let them know that you have heard them and understand their decision
  2. Explain why you disagree and follow up to see if they have changed their mind
  3. If they still disagree, consider bribing them with a toe.
  4. Accept their final answer calmly and thank them for their time. 

Example: 
Anna: Hello father. I have been stung by a bee and I can feel my throat closing up. Are you willing to drive me to the hospital? 
Father: Sorry Anna, but a rerun of Hogan’s Heroes just came on TV. I can’t leave the house until it is over. 
Anna: I understand that you have said no and that you would like to stay here and watch Hogan’s Heroes. That said, I worry that if I do not get to a hospital soon, my throat will swell to the point that I am unable to breathe and I will die. Now that you have heard my explanation, are you willing to drive me to the hospital? 
Father: I’m sorry, but no. This episode is a very funny episode. A stern Nazi visits their prisoner of war camp and, as I’m sure you can imagine, hilarity ensues. 
Anna: Dad, would it change your mind if I offered you a toe? Considering that my life is on the line, I am willing to give up a really good one. We are talking left center!
Father: Okay. If you are willing to give me your left middle toe, I am willing to drive you to the hospital. Let’s get in the car!


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How to express frustration: 
  1. Shout “fuck!”

Example: 
Anna: Fuck!
Father: Fuck!
Anna: Fuck!
Father: Good job! 

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Introducing yourself:
  1. Look the other person in the eyes
  2. Say, “Hello, my name is __________.”
  3. Listen as they say their name 
  4. Say, “It is very nice to meet you, ________.”

Example: 
Anna: Hello, my name is Anna. 
Father: I know. Did you finish cleaning your room? 
Anna: It is very nice to meet you, I-know-did-you-finish-cleaning-your-room. How are you today?
Father: I’m really not in the mood for this right now. Can you just go and clean your room before your grandparents arrive?
Anna: Fuck!
Father: Fuck!
Anna: Will you clean my room for a toe?
Father: No, I’m full up on toes right now. 
Anna: Okay, I’ll go and clean my room. 
Father: Thank you. 
Anna: You are welcome. I love you very much. 
Father: And I you. 

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Asking for help: 
  1. Politely get the attention of the person you want to help you
  2. Explain the problem you are having
  3. Specify how they could help and ask if they are willing
  4. If the answer is yes, remember to thank them 

Example:
Anna: Hello father. Are you willing to listen to me?
Father: Yes, Anna. What would you like to discuss? 
Anna: I am in a bit of a bind. Recently, some kids at school have been calling me a dork. 
Father: I am very sorry to hear that. How would you like me to help? 
Anna: I am hoping that you will let me bring your Stereolab records into class to show everyone that I am not a dork. I am cool!
Father: You can take the Stereolab records into class if you want, but I have to warn you that your classmates might not find them as cool as we do. 
Anna: But dad, who wouldn’t want to listen to those analog synthesizers and krautrock drum patterns? 
Father: Unfortunately, most people. 
Anna: I don’t understand. 
Father: Do you know what I mean when I refer to a “cult band?”
Anna: Do you mean like the Kool-Aid and the matching sneakers? 
Father: No. Wait, where did you hear about those cults?
Anna: I don’t know. The playground?
Father: It means they have loyal fans--
Anna: Like me!
Father: But a relatively small number of them. 
Anna: Nooo!
Father: I was hoping that I wouldn’t have to teach you about this until you were older. I’m sorry to break the news in such a blunt manner. I thought I had more time to prepare. 
Anna: But even if people don’t care about the retro pop vibes, my classmates will still care about the deeply political, Marxist lyrics. 
Father: Wow. About that…
Anna: Not more bad news! Please! My heart can break only so many times in one day!
Father: Sorry, but that’s really more of a me and your mom thing. Most people in town might even find it a bit objectionable. 
Anna: So what do I bring into class to prove that I am cool?
Father: Boy, I really don’t know. 
Anna: Please, dad! Please!
Father: Maybe Ween records?