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fall 2022
A Letter that I Found While Moping Around in Our Rare Books Room
Hello,
Thank you for your kind and heartfelt note. And thank you for taking the time to come and watch our play. I know how busy you can be, so the fact that you would take the afternoon to see our little production warms my heart. Unfortunately, I cannot accept your compliments because, on further reflection, it doesn’t look like any of them are for me.
Your first comment, that the theater was beautiful and cozy, is true. But I didn’t build that theater. I’m not an architect. I’m barely a playwright. I’d be happy to pass your thoughts on to the man who built the building--that you were apparently so blown away by that you could hardly talk about anything else--but Robert Steinhouser died in 1953. Of old age.
Your second comment, that everyone looked like they were having so much fun up there, doesn’t even make sense. It’s an adaptation of Macbeth; famously a tragedy. And it all takes place at a funeral. In facist Spain. Where did you find all this fun? Besides, even if these actors were metaphorically dancing in the rain shower that is familial loss in a dictatorial dystopia, it still doesn’t sound like that compliment directed at me. In fact, I was told multiple times during this production that I was making people consider “giv[ing] up not only on theater, but on humanity in general.” Our stage manager sold all her possessions and went to live in a silent monastery in France.
And your final comment just seems like you were trying to be mean. Do you really think that “everything was so well lit,” or is that just the easiest way to slide the knife between my ribs?
Let me take a moment to pause. Maybe I’m getting ahead of myself. I mean, beautiful lighting is an artform. And Megan and Ali worked hard on that lighting. It was a well lit show. I agree. Sure, still not really the purview of a playwright. But who am I to bat away compliments? Am I so persnickety that I can’t keep an open mind to a friend who just so happens to be passionate about the craft of theater? Surely not. So thank you. Thank you for letting me know you thought my play was very well lit. I will pass that information along.
Because surely if you had something negative to say you would just come out and say it. We’re old friends. Why would we lie to each other? We wouldn’t. I would never pretend to like that meandering drivel that you publish. Because we are just that close! So thank you--from the bottom of my heart--for your kind, kind comments.
If I see you at Daniel’s wedding, I will punch you in the fucking face!
Best,
Terrence
Thank you for your kind and heartfelt note. And thank you for taking the time to come and watch our play. I know how busy you can be, so the fact that you would take the afternoon to see our little production warms my heart. Unfortunately, I cannot accept your compliments because, on further reflection, it doesn’t look like any of them are for me.
Your first comment, that the theater was beautiful and cozy, is true. But I didn’t build that theater. I’m not an architect. I’m barely a playwright. I’d be happy to pass your thoughts on to the man who built the building--that you were apparently so blown away by that you could hardly talk about anything else--but Robert Steinhouser died in 1953. Of old age.
Your second comment, that everyone looked like they were having so much fun up there, doesn’t even make sense. It’s an adaptation of Macbeth; famously a tragedy. And it all takes place at a funeral. In facist Spain. Where did you find all this fun? Besides, even if these actors were metaphorically dancing in the rain shower that is familial loss in a dictatorial dystopia, it still doesn’t sound like that compliment directed at me. In fact, I was told multiple times during this production that I was making people consider “giv[ing] up not only on theater, but on humanity in general.” Our stage manager sold all her possessions and went to live in a silent monastery in France.
And your final comment just seems like you were trying to be mean. Do you really think that “everything was so well lit,” or is that just the easiest way to slide the knife between my ribs?
Let me take a moment to pause. Maybe I’m getting ahead of myself. I mean, beautiful lighting is an artform. And Megan and Ali worked hard on that lighting. It was a well lit show. I agree. Sure, still not really the purview of a playwright. But who am I to bat away compliments? Am I so persnickety that I can’t keep an open mind to a friend who just so happens to be passionate about the craft of theater? Surely not. So thank you. Thank you for letting me know you thought my play was very well lit. I will pass that information along.
Because surely if you had something negative to say you would just come out and say it. We’re old friends. Why would we lie to each other? We wouldn’t. I would never pretend to like that meandering drivel that you publish. Because we are just that close! So thank you--from the bottom of my heart--for your kind, kind comments.
If I see you at Daniel’s wedding, I will punch you in the fucking face!
Best,
Terrence
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