Poems

Looking for Certainty

Debra leaned over to Emily and whispered
Are you absolutely sure this is a petting zoo?

***

A Big Grapefruit

I didn’t hear
My phone ring, 
So there really
Wasn’t any way

To know that
You had gotten
Trapped under
That big grapefruit. 

But just for
Future reference,
No need to call.
I mostly just text. 

***

Christmas Haiku

Christmas lights cover
The entire park. Screw you, kids
Just play somewhere else

***

Santa

Years ago--in the church I used to go to--I asked a seven year old, “What do you want
From Santa this year?” And she snarled “Nothing, Santa is how Satan 
Spells his name when he is trying to sneak his way into our homes.” 

I hadn’t realized that Santa and Satan were spelled with the same letters, but 
I feel like that’s probably more a coincidence than anything. Sure, anagrams seem

Like a fail-safe way to break into someone’s house, but I’ve done some research 
And the pros have much better luck with lock picks and crowbars. 

That said, Santa did give me an electric guitar once, which does feel like a very Satan move. 
If I only know two things about him, it’s: 1) Not to be trusted 2) Great taste in music

Oh, and 3) Loves anagrams!

***

Chuck

And he gave me a strange look
Because he had heard what 
I had said. 

***

A list of things someone has described to me as punk

Speaking truth to power
Faded, beat up jeans
An expensive leather jacket
Emily Dickenson
Putting bacon on a donut
Voting
Basement shows
A bar with stickers on the walls
Tattoos
Anilingus
Musicals
Standup comedy
Being on Twitter in the early 2010’s
Being queer
Working in STEM
Telling your parents to fuck off
Understanding systematic oppression and taking steps to dismantle it
The Gig Economy
Showing your emotions
Saying bigotted bullshit to spite the socially conscience 
Being a college Republican
Bob Dylan
Joni Mitchel
ABBA
OFWGKTA
Urban gardening
A thrift store with a rack of wedding dresses
A vegan bakery that plays metal music
Shotgunning a beer in your friend’s dad’s garage
Guitar rock

***

Tim

Tim was In a mad panic.
They dumped their backpack on the table
And rustled through the aftermath. 
It was gone! But who had taken it?! 
And why?!

Oh wait. 
Fuck.
That’s right. 
Their pockets.
There it is. 
Oops.