The Ex-Lovers
William glowered at Kate.
“How could you!?” He thought.
But he didn’t say anything. 
Because of cowardice. 

“If you wanted to come by,”
Kate posited, “Maybe we
Could all have dinner, 
The three of us.”

William dropped his drink
And ran away at full speed. 

***

And, as always, a big shout out to Benjamin Franklin 
Liz threw her drink at Rose
“There!” She screamed. 
But it wasn’t enough
To put out the fire. 

***

Ceiling Fan
As it spins in tight circles over my head
Again and again
(On command
And without exception) 

I wonder whether my ceiling fan notices
How much weight I’ve been losing. 

Because if not, it can go fuck itself. 
I don’t care that it’s summer. 
I don’t need a ceiling fan.
I have an ice pack that 
I can shove down
My pants any
Time I want.

And it’s a lot of weight, for the record. 
(I don’t have a scale, so I’m not exactly
Sure how much. But multiple people
Have commented on it. So it must be
A whole fucking lot.)

So…ceiling fan…let me know what you think. 

Yours truly, 
William

***

Waves
The tired water pulls up to the bar and asks,
“What do people around here do for fun?”


“Well,” the bartender said, “I guess we mostly
Just bash our heads against the ground. 

Why do you ask?”

***  

Weighted Blanket
A blanket filled with tiny balls?
How fun! It’s like a ball pit for
Manic insomniacs. I’ll take 
Three. I’m real fucked up. 

***

Bike trail
Cutting a trail around the sleepy lake, Steven dashes
Through the crisp evening air on his beautiful black bicycle. 

He passes the same joggers on new stretches of trail
As they trudge along in his wake. 

“These joggers are so stupid,” Steven said to himself.
“If they redirected a quarter of the effort they put into jogging

Into saving for and then buying a beautiful black bicycle
Like mine, they’d be going twice as fast with half the effort. 

It feels nice to know how much smarter you are than the 
People around you.”

Then his tire popped. 
Because God hates bicyclists.
Smug bastards.

***

Tree:
There is a tree outside my window 
That smells really weird. And I 

Have arranged to have it assassinated. 
It’s true, I grow more republican as I age.