Regional News You Might Have Missed

News:
Grand Island Star: New football recruits offer husker fans hope that will last until first game begins

The Nebraska Weekly: Governor finds new ways every year to suck shit

Wichita Today: Sugar bowl full of sweet, delicious sugar. Who says we never report on good news anymore?

Des Moines Daily: For babies across Iowa, walking is the new crawling

Tulsa Intelligence: Big whole in ground has started filling with butter. Which is a...problem?

Omaha Herald: Nebraska’s oldest a capella group announces they are cutting back on live performances to spend more time drinking in Kelly’s backyard and reminiscing about the first few seasons of Glee


Editorial:
Lincoln News: Did you know they have mountains everywhere? Not just Tennessee. So why don’t we have any?

The University of Nebraska at Omaha Forensics Email Newsletter: Champagne for my real friends, real pain and a firey death for those fucking dicks at Doane

St. Cloud Post: Summers are getting hotter and hotter. But I'm sure this is the last one.

Bellevue News: Why aren't there more summer nativities for Christmas in July? I want to see Joseph in a speedo!