Poems

I watched Close Encounters of the Third Kind at a school on a Wednesday night Pt. 1

I met an alien in my kitchen one morning

He looked at me and said

"Pineapple"

I asked whether he wanted anything to eat

"Pineapple"

Do you want Pineapple?

"Pineapple"

I went into my cabinet and found an old can of the stuff. It was expired, but I didn't know what else to do.

"Pineapple"

I opened the can and held it up. But the alien just shook their head.

"Pineapple"

"What do you want?" I begged. "Just tell me."

Then the alien put their hand inside their chest and pulled out a slice a fresh Pineapple. Shoving it into my mouth, they said:

"For 'tis better to give than to receive."

I hate aliens.

Because I'm a very direct communicator. And because I'm more of a vegetable guy.

***

The Importance of Sleep Pt. 1

Sometimes--

In the darkest hours of evening
When you are watching TV
And eating ice cream
And your girlfriend isn't
Texting you back because she
Went to watch The Hunger Games
at her friends apartment
While you staid in to write
You boring little weirdo

--a thought will come to you that says
"Man, you should really go pick up that
Guitar in your bedroom and practice it
--Maybe learn some Big Thief songs
Like you keep saying you’re gonna"

Do no listen to that impulse!

Go to bed.
It is late.
And you have shit
To do tomorrow.

Please.

***

I watched Close Encounters of the Third Kind at a school on a Wednesday night Pt. 2

Dawn's car broke down along the side of the road.
Sensing something, she turned to see a light
Dancing across the horizon, inching closer
Only to land on the far side of the valley. 

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
*she heard a weird sound*

Then a flash

Then another

What was it?

Then the radio burst into song.
A song Dawn knew. But from where?
It was on the tip of her tongue, but she couldn't...

Wait

No

It was...

Boygenius

Does this mean that the aliens are gay, too?

***

A Clean Cup for Coffee

I will never have all my dishes clean
Or all of my clothes washed and folded
I have cleaned for five hours this week
And I cleaned all night last Monday
I don't know what is happening!
The mess! It just shoots out of my finger tips
Like some mucky Midas who always
Has to clean a cup before he makes you coffee
On a sleepy Saturday afternoon

Please don't fall out of love with me
I am cleaning as fast as I can

***

Punk Rock Alien Song (or I watched Close Encounters of the Third Kind at a school on a Wednesday night Pt. 3)

I don't wanna see no
Alien freeze ray
I don't wanna hear no
Alien song
I don't wanna do no
Alien homework
I just wanna rock and roll
All night long

Aliens
Aliens
Aliens
Aliens
I hate aliens
And love rock and roll
Aliens
Aliens
Aliens
Aliens
I hate aliens
And love rock and roll

(Repeat until the aliens stop being so corpo)

***

The Importance of Sleep Pt. 2

Goodnight. 

Sleep tight. 

You know, 
sleep is so important 
to not just our physical health 
but our mental health. 

And I want you to feel amazing. 

So when you stay up all night 
watching archival footage 
from the Montreaux Jazz Festival, 
you might as well be throwing all that 
yogurt I made you eat 
in the trash.
 
So fucking go to bed already, Matthew!

***

I watched Close Encounters of the Third Kind at a school on a Wednesday night Pt. 4 

Albert: Do you know what I saw last night?
Wilfred: An alien?
Albert: Yes, how did you know?
Wilfred: I don’t know. You just had a certain glow about you.
*pause*
Wilfred: Can I rub your belly?