Menu
Summer 2022
Community Postings
From: Samantha J.
To: Hungry Foodies
Would you like some guacamole? It’s my mom’s recipe. You know her secret ingredient? She replaces the onions with cake. $30
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From: Jo R.
To: Joe T.
Your mother was right about you! You are 187 centimeters tall. Such a precise woman.
***
From: Green Grass Grocers in Yahoo
To: Lovers of books and veggies
Nostalgic for Borders? We’re just like it but smaller and we sell vegetables.
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From: Steve’s Scarecrow Warehouse
To: People*
Life hack! Scarecrows scare roommates, too!
*More specifically: People looking to keep roommates from snooping through your closet while you are spending the weekend house-sitting for your friend Stevie and her weird, rich husband.
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From: Debra S.
To: Elizabeth Z.
I know that when you say, "That's so European," you mean, "Why can't you cook one fucking thing without olives?" I like olives. So sue me. If you don’t like it, then go fuck a fork.
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From: Mom
To: My lovely children
I'm not angry. And I'm not disappointed either. I'm just hungry, tired, and a medium amount of horny.
***
From: You know who!
To: My fucking sister!
"If you've got it, flaunt it" doesn't apply when you are using MY roasted apples.
***
From: Rosie
To: Tristan and Guy
If you don’t cut out all that racket-ball, I'm going to squash you!
That’s a joke, but you do need to stop playing racquetball so loud in the den. Some of us are trying to record an audiobook.
***
From: Stephanie
To: Rhiannon
Carrots are not snacks. I mean, they are snacks, but you can’t invite me over for snacks and then toss me a bag of baby carrots. Please reach out and let me know what you plan to do to make this situation right.
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From: Hank G.
To: Scientists
Did you know there is a school called Rice? You learn something new every day. That's a food word!
***
From: David C.
To: Paul B.
It's always “grotesque display of wealth” this and “grotesque display of wealth” that. But is that such a bad thing? I know you are a Marxist, but you're also always talking about body horror. I'm just saying it's mixed messages.
***
Upcoming events
Monthly Roundtable Discussions (Second Tuesday at 8pm):
What's Good for the Goose is Goof for the Laughter: A taxonomy of funny looking birds (September)
Ignorance is Chris: We all get together to teach Chris a thing or two [In a good way! Chris is 100% onboard] (October)
Well That's a Damned Train: Learn the difference between trains and really long trucks (November)
Cinematic Feasts: A Harvest Celebration of Food Movies
September 17th: Tampopo
October 1st: Fresh Kill
October 15th: Julie & Julia
October 29th: Volver
November 12th: Night of the Living Dead
To: Hungry Foodies
Would you like some guacamole? It’s my mom’s recipe. You know her secret ingredient? She replaces the onions with cake. $30
***
From: Jo R.
To: Joe T.
Your mother was right about you! You are 187 centimeters tall. Such a precise woman.
***
From: Green Grass Grocers in Yahoo
To: Lovers of books and veggies
Nostalgic for Borders? We’re just like it but smaller and we sell vegetables.
***
From: Steve’s Scarecrow Warehouse
To: People*
Life hack! Scarecrows scare roommates, too!
*More specifically: People looking to keep roommates from snooping through your closet while you are spending the weekend house-sitting for your friend Stevie and her weird, rich husband.
***
From: Debra S.
To: Elizabeth Z.
I know that when you say, "That's so European," you mean, "Why can't you cook one fucking thing without olives?" I like olives. So sue me. If you don’t like it, then go fuck a fork.
***
From: Mom
To: My lovely children
I'm not angry. And I'm not disappointed either. I'm just hungry, tired, and a medium amount of horny.
***
From: You know who!
To: My fucking sister!
"If you've got it, flaunt it" doesn't apply when you are using MY roasted apples.
***
From: Rosie
To: Tristan and Guy
If you don’t cut out all that racket-ball, I'm going to squash you!
That’s a joke, but you do need to stop playing racquetball so loud in the den. Some of us are trying to record an audiobook.
***
From: Stephanie
To: Rhiannon
Carrots are not snacks. I mean, they are snacks, but you can’t invite me over for snacks and then toss me a bag of baby carrots. Please reach out and let me know what you plan to do to make this situation right.
***
From: Hank G.
To: Scientists
Did you know there is a school called Rice? You learn something new every day. That's a food word!
***
From: David C.
To: Paul B.
It's always “grotesque display of wealth” this and “grotesque display of wealth” that. But is that such a bad thing? I know you are a Marxist, but you're also always talking about body horror. I'm just saying it's mixed messages.
***
Upcoming events
Monthly Roundtable Discussions (Second Tuesday at 8pm):
What's Good for the Goose is Goof for the Laughter: A taxonomy of funny looking birds (September)
Ignorance is Chris: We all get together to teach Chris a thing or two [In a good way! Chris is 100% onboard] (October)
Well That's a Damned Train: Learn the difference between trains and really long trucks (November)
Cinematic Feasts: A Harvest Celebration of Food Movies
September 17th: Tampopo
October 1st: Fresh Kill
October 15th: Julie & Julia
October 29th: Volver
November 12th: Night of the Living Dead
If you would like someone to let you know when a new edition of the East Nebraska Secret Commune Social Quarterly is available, click here and we can help you out.
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