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Summer 2023
Community Postings
***OFFICIAL BUSINESS AT THE BOTTOM***
From: Jennifer
To: All
How much would you pay to put a Skittle in my ear? I'm not offering, I'm just doing market research.
***
From: Nate
To: A store with fun pants
How do I wanna pay? Check? Card? Cash? No thanks. I'd rather pay in pictures I've taken of my television when I see something funny in an old movie. Does that work for you? What's the exchange rate on those bad boys?
***
From: Evan
To: Derek
You really try to act all mature and smart for someone who calls it his tummy. God, I’m so glad we broke up. What a terrible name for a penis.
***
From: Devon
To: I don’t really care
Is that a piano in your foyer, or are you just hotel to see me?
***
From: Devon
To: Whoever’s in charge of these things
I’m sorry. Last night I sent in a weird piano joke. Can you just cancel it? I know I can’t get the money back, I just don’t want the joke to go in the quarterly. I was drinking. It seemed like a good idea at the time. But now, I don’t even really know what it means.
***
From: Sadie
To: Yasmine
If I told you you had a nice body, would you lend me a banana? You know I'm good for it.
***
From: Lilly
To: Friends
Don't ask me, "Why don't you go out and do something fun?" I don't know why. Im fucking crazy, that’s why. Not to brag, but Dr. Wilson seems genuinely worried about me.
***
From: Ed R.
To: Steve S.
Do you want to take this outside? Well too bad. The air quality is fucked because of forrest fires. Do I really have to live with Global Warming the rest of my life? I ride my bike most places anyway. Can't I get a waiver?
***
From: Ezra Stillman
To: Art loving poopers everywhere
Paintings for bathrooms! I've decided to use my medium talent to make paintings that are good enough to give your water closet character, but not so good you'll wonder what it means that this painting someone worked so hard on is cover is pee mist.
***
From: William
To: Ann
When I am lost in a sea of worries, you always rescue me. You are like a love lifeguard in an alternate universe where it wouldn’t violate a lifeguard’s professional ethics to get involved romantically with your patients.
***
Upcoming events
Monthly Roundtables (Second Tuesday at 8pm):
A No-Nonsense Nutrition Class to Help Set Yourself Up for Success in the Kitchen and in Life (September)
A Medium Nonsense Political Cartooning Workshop that Balances Whimsy and Political Efficacy (October)
Uncontrolled Nonsense (November)
The Poorly Named Summer Blockbuster Double Features in the Fall Series:
(Sunday Afternoons at 2pm)
Barbie / After Yang
Oppenheimer / House
Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One / Desk Set
Jaws / Finding Nemo / You Were Never Really Here / Desperately Seeking Susan **
**The Double Double Feature Movie Marathon starts at 11am
From: Jennifer
To: All
How much would you pay to put a Skittle in my ear? I'm not offering, I'm just doing market research.
***
From: Nate
To: A store with fun pants
How do I wanna pay? Check? Card? Cash? No thanks. I'd rather pay in pictures I've taken of my television when I see something funny in an old movie. Does that work for you? What's the exchange rate on those bad boys?
***
From: Evan
To: Derek
You really try to act all mature and smart for someone who calls it his tummy. God, I’m so glad we broke up. What a terrible name for a penis.
***
From: Devon
To: I don’t really care
Is that a piano in your foyer, or are you just hotel to see me?
***
From: Devon
To: Whoever’s in charge of these things
I’m sorry. Last night I sent in a weird piano joke. Can you just cancel it? I know I can’t get the money back, I just don’t want the joke to go in the quarterly. I was drinking. It seemed like a good idea at the time. But now, I don’t even really know what it means.
***
From: Sadie
To: Yasmine
If I told you you had a nice body, would you lend me a banana? You know I'm good for it.
***
From: Lilly
To: Friends
Don't ask me, "Why don't you go out and do something fun?" I don't know why. Im fucking crazy, that’s why. Not to brag, but Dr. Wilson seems genuinely worried about me.
***
From: Ed R.
To: Steve S.
Do you want to take this outside? Well too bad. The air quality is fucked because of forrest fires. Do I really have to live with Global Warming the rest of my life? I ride my bike most places anyway. Can't I get a waiver?
***
From: Ezra Stillman
To: Art loving poopers everywhere
Paintings for bathrooms! I've decided to use my medium talent to make paintings that are good enough to give your water closet character, but not so good you'll wonder what it means that this painting someone worked so hard on is cover is pee mist.
***
From: William
To: Ann
When I am lost in a sea of worries, you always rescue me. You are like a love lifeguard in an alternate universe where it wouldn’t violate a lifeguard’s professional ethics to get involved romantically with your patients.
***
Upcoming events
Monthly Roundtables (Second Tuesday at 8pm):
A No-Nonsense Nutrition Class to Help Set Yourself Up for Success in the Kitchen and in Life (September)
A Medium Nonsense Political Cartooning Workshop that Balances Whimsy and Political Efficacy (October)
Uncontrolled Nonsense (November)
The Poorly Named Summer Blockbuster Double Features in the Fall Series:
(Sunday Afternoons at 2pm)
Barbie / After Yang
Oppenheimer / House
Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One / Desk Set
Jaws / Finding Nemo / You Were Never Really Here / Desperately Seeking Susan **
**The Double Double Feature Movie Marathon starts at 11am
If you would like someone to let you know when a new edition of the East Nebraska Secret Commune Social Quarterly is available, click here and we can help you out.
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