Regional News You Might Have Missed

Mayor’s silence speaks volumes. Low, low volumes. Like almost nothing, really. (The Fremont Paper)

Debra Snabnitz was just an ordinary woman…until an arm started growing out of her mouth like some real fucking weirdo (Cheyenne Times)

Pickleball tournament files noise complaint against nearby interfaith roundtable (Lincoln World)

Jumpin’ Jane’s Juice Stop announces pre-emptive ban on James Corden (The Colorado Scoop)

Mayor says he is going as “A Mayor” for Halloween. Booooo! We hate it! (The West Nebraska Bugel)

“We are the Silicon Prairie” Omaha mayor chants into candle-lit mirror 5 times hoping an entrepreneur will show up (The Local Herald)

Jumpin’ Jane’s Juice Stop announces they prefer Seth Meyers, anyway (The Colorado Scoop)

Local raccoon deep in his tumultuous sticky dick phase (A Harvard Medical Quarterly)

Jumpin’ Jane’s Juice Stop announces that the only part of Cats they liked was when Idris Elba took off his coat and he looked naked (The Colorado Scoop)

School board votes portrait of Johann Wolfgang von Goethe on cover of The Sorrows of Young Werther too smoldering; removes from libraries citing century old statute against “fuckbooks” (The Kerney Eagle)