Regional News You Might Have Missed

Marching Band director's greatest accomplishment...is marching himself to the doctor for an early prostate screening (The Omaha Examiner) 

Damn, has this fucking weather been crazy or what? (The Lincoln Paper)

Conservative state legislators’ infighting boldly bucks stereotypes about boot-licking fascists (Rapid City News Round-Up)

DUA LIPA IS IN THE BARBIE MOVIE! NEWS THIS GOOD IS LOCAL AND UNIVERSAL! THINK GLOBALLY, DUA LIPALLY! (The Doane Muckraker) 

28 year old librarian with Joan Didion tote bag fucks way through midwestern library conference like a hot knife through horny horny butter (LitStation)

Creighton basketball team fucking robbed by fucking officials in unforgivable fucking tragedy (International Court of Justice Press Release)

Parents push school board; flex their rights to lie to children (Prairie Weekly)

Library sure has a lot of seasons of Wings considering that they don't have To the Lighthouse (Central Nebraska Herald)