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Poems

Doctor
Let’s play doctor
Put me in a gown

Call me a hypochondriac
And ask me to stop
Wasting your goddamn time

***

Untitled No. 33
Elena cut off the tip of her thumb
While preparing a hummus topping


Waiting in the hospital, Elena watched
Law and Order: Organized Crime

For a brief moment, she sat content
That her life is dominated by simple things

Like hummus toppings and not
Dismantling organized crime

That feeling, however, was soon drowned out
By screams of pain from her

Bleeding fucking thumb.

***

Voicemail 1
Hello,
I have taken the computer bag
Full of love letters
From someone named Rachel

I've also taken the 
Strange, old ring 
I gave you that night 
As the sun set over the roof 
Of that apartment building 
You never could stand 
[I can't imagine why you'd want it now]

I also stole your laptop
For spite, I guess
Fuck you

***

Voicemail 2
Hello,
I’m glad I got your voicemail because I do not want to talk to you right now
I just wanted to remind you--if you have the time today--that you can
Huff my fucking shorts. Get bent. 
Bye. 

***

Love and Hate
Love creates more love. Fighting hate with hate
Is like fucking a cardboard box and waiting 
For it to give birth to a red velvet cake. 

Fucking a cardboard box might seem like a good idea on paper. 
Heck, you might have a good time fucking a 
Cardboard box. But at the end of the day, 

That’s not how you make cake, silly 

***

For the 2021 University of Nebraska Football Team
What cost victory?
What price fame?
At the end of the day
I hope you know that 
You are enough

Even though my dad 
Says you’re shit

***

Oh, to be young
I wish I was young thirty years ago. I could be there for the first two Pixies albums and then hop over to Pavement. I’ll leave Pavement when things are getting touchy and I’ll write all of the White Stripes songs before anyone else can think to do it. 
I’ll ride a boxcar to work everyday and drink whole milk for every meal. I’ll smoke on airplanes and fuck sheep. 
Oh, why oh why is the world getting slowly lamer just in time to be intolerable by the time I’m supposed to live in it?

***

Tomato Soup and Gooey Cheese
Tomato Soup
Gooey cheese
Crispy bread
Your nicknames for me
Are making less and less
Sense

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