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Fall 2024     

Community Postings

From: Gwen
To: Asher

I know I've been beating this drum for a long time, but I'm serious. If you don't give me my scarf back before my birthday, I will piss in your birdhouse. Give! It! Back!

***

From: Maria
To: Jo Anne

Stop waiving at pigeons. They don't know what that means.

***

From: Akiva
To: Jackson

I know you are still mad at me, but I just want you to know that I am not going to apologize. You WERE yelling. And it WAS crazy of you to pretend you weren't. It's not even like you were yelling words. You were just going, "Aaaaaah aaaaaaaah aaaaah aaaaaaah aaah."
You apologize to ME!

***

From: David P. 
To: Music Lovers Everywhere

Wanted: three trumpeters
For: music
Please be friends with each other!
I am afraid of talking to strangers.

***

From: Asher
To: Gwen

It's not a toy piano! It's an electric piano. There's a difference. If this were a toy, could I do this:
*excellent piano playing*


***

From: Mr. Bad
To: Mx. Sander’s Third Grade Class

From now on, call me Mr. Bad. Not because I'm known for being "bad," but because my father's name was Theodore Montgomery Bad and the respect owed to me as your new substitute teacher dictates that you will refer to me using a formal honorific and my last name.

***

From: Barry Billson
To: Anybody

For sale: three fish
Are dicks, but badasses
Names: Edward, Plato, Goofy
Lives in water EXCLUSIVELY
$25

***

From: EDGAR DAVIS
To: ANYONE AT ALL

I WILL TEACH YOU HOW TO GET PEOPLE'S ATTENTION
CLASSES ON TUESDAYS @7
FOR MORE DETAILS, CHECK US OUT AT @IWILLTEACHYOUHOWTOGETPEOPLESATTENTION

***

From: Mia
To: The Media

Do you think that Ina Garten thinks Bobby Flay is sexy? What about twelve years ago?

***

From: Fireman Phil
To: Wealthy Nebraskans

Some fires burn forever and never go out. But that's because those fires haven't met me. I got 6 super soakers in my garage and I am down to put out small fires on the weekends for a nominal fee.

***

From: Richard
To: Kate

You. Me. A joint. Two coffee mugs of red wine. A digital copy Junun. Why not take a night off from trying to find your father's killer and take a bath with me?

Copyright © 2015
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  • Fall 2023 (Poetry)
    • Adrianne Lenker from the band Big Thief visits Nebraska for the Maha Music Festival
    • Three Poems That Were Written on the Same Day
    • The Silver Dollar Flapjacks of Poetry
    • Regular and Irregular Meter
    • A Question
    • Business Poetry
    • Regional News Formatted Poetically
    • The Mental Health Awareness Decade
    • A Text Exchange in Which a Secret is Revealed
    • Maybe the Closest I Have Come to Writing a Perfect Poem
    • Three Poems
    • A Series of Thoughts I Had While Watching All That Jazz
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      • Editorial: On Arming Teachers and Watching Movies
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  • Summer 2021
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    • A Letter from the Secluded Sisters of the Missouri Valley
    • Regional News You Might Have Missed
    • New Rules for the Monthly Open Mics
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  • About
  • Home
  • Sampler
  • Spring 2025
    • Question 1
    • Question 2
    • Question 3
    • Question 4
    • Question 5
    • Question 6
    • Question 7
    • An Aperitif
    • Printable Zine
  • Winter 2025
  • Fall 2024
    • General News
    • Community Postings
    • Poems
    • Business Man Dan
    • On Lying to Yourself
    • Movie Idea No. #3
    • Movie Idea No. #4
    • Movie Idea No. #7
  • This Shouldn't Have Happened
  • Spring 2024 (Photography)
    • Gaps Between Buildings
    • January 6th, 2024
    • Fake Flyers
    • Public Art #1
    • Signs
    • March 7th, 2024
    • Do You Poke Smot?
    • Public Art #2
    • September 30th, 2023
    • Pictures of the Ground
  • Winter 2024 (Letters)
    • A Form Letter for Newspapers
    • A Form Letter for Art Museums
    • A Form Letter for Film Critics
    • A Form Letter for College Professors
    • Horny Copypasta to Text People on Arbor Day
    • 20 Wonderful Messages to Write Inside a Card
  • Fall 2023 (Poetry)
    • Adrianne Lenker from the band Big Thief visits Nebraska for the Maha Music Festival
    • Three Poems That Were Written on the Same Day
    • The Silver Dollar Flapjacks of Poetry
    • Regular and Irregular Meter
    • A Question
    • Business Poetry
    • Regional News Formatted Poetically
    • The Mental Health Awareness Decade
    • A Text Exchange in Which a Secret is Revealed
    • Maybe the Closest I Have Come to Writing a Perfect Poem
    • Three Poems
    • A Series of Thoughts I Had While Watching All That Jazz
  • Summer 2023
    • General News
    • Community Postings
    • Poems
    • Regional News You Might Have Missed
    • How to Scare Your Friends Through the Mail
    • Genital-less Images
  • Spring 2023
    • General News
    • Community Postings
    • Poems
    • Regional News You Might Have Missed
    • Instructions for a Good Time Pt. 2
    • Romantic Texts to Send Anyone at Any Time
    • Regional News You Might Have Missed
  • Winter 2023
    • General News
    • Community Postings
    • Poems
    • Best of 2022
    • Opinion: On AI Generated Art
  • Fall 2022
    • General News
    • Community Postings
    • Poems
    • Creative Possum Names
    • The Secluded Sisters of the Missouri Valley
    • Regional News You Might Have Missed
    • A Zine/Challenge
    • Found Fiction
  • Summer 2022
    • Spring 2022 >
      • General News - Spring 2022
      • Community Postings
      • Editorial: On Arming Teachers and Watching Movies
      • Regional News You Might Have Missed
      • A Letter from the Secluded Sisters of the Missouri Valley
      • Well, We Asked
      • Poems
      • Social Skills for Young Children
    • General News
    • Community Postings
    • Instructions for a Good Time
    • Regional News You Might Have Missed
    • A Letter from the Secluded Sisters of the Missouri Valley
    • Poems
    • Dating App Pics
    • Editorial: On the Fourth of July
  • Winter 2022
    • General News
    • Community Postings
    • A Letter from the Secluded Sisters of the Missouri Valley
    • Poems
    • Regional News You Might Have Missed
    • Style Tips
    • On New Years and New Resolutions
    • Children's Corner
    • A Quick Questions
  • Fall 2021
    • General News
    • Community Postings
    • Poems
    • A Letter from the Secluded Sisters of the Missouri Valley
    • Halloween Stories for Pacifists
    • How to Avoid Talking about Sports
    • Icebreaker Questions
    • Regional News
  • Summer 2021
    • General News
    • Community Postings
    • Poems
    • Apologies
    • A Letter from the Secluded Sisters of the Missouri Valley
    • Regional News You Might Have Missed
    • New Rules for the Monthly Open Mics
    • A Recipe for Fruit Pizza that Can Save a Relationship
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