A Question

Hey
Have you ever
Really needed
To do laundry
So
You end up
Wearing old 
Running shorts
As underwear
Around the house
But now
It’s noon
And you need
To take a walk
Around lunchtime
Or else you will feel
Fucking crazy
All afternoon
So
You put
A pair of 
Brown pants on
Over the
Running shorts
And walk around
Your neighborhood
But 
These old
Running shorts
Are old
And weak
And old
So the elastic
Barely works
And there’s
No drawstring
For 
No good reason
So they start
Sliding down 
As you move 
Around
And you
Work from home
And have been
Sitting sweetly
At your 
Sundrenched desk
All morning
So it wasn’t a problem
But 
Now that you
Are walking
They start
Sliding down 
Almost immediately
And
If you acted quickly
You might have
Been able to
Pull them up
And keep scooching
The shorts back in place
Every few steps
And been
Mostly fine
But 
Instead
You think that 
It would be interesting
To see just how low
The shorts will go
So
You play
This little game
And feel the shorts
Slowly approaching
The thickest part
Of your butt
And naively hope
That this will be 
It’s resting place
But no
The shorts keep falling
And
For a moment
It’s kinda fun
You feel the 
Coarse canvas
On your soft skin
Feel the cold
Unfamiliar wind
Through the fabric
Feel the
Twisted shorts
Frame your butt
Letting it rest
On the tangled edge
Like some
Hidden pedestal
And 
You start to feel
Pretty naked
For a 
Fully clothed 
Person
And 
You start to feel 
Pretty naughty
For someone’s
Who real sin
Is not doing 
Laundry on Monday
When you had
Planned to
But
Then
The shorts keep 
Falling and
It really isn’t fun
Anymore
And 
It’s not that
It feels terrible
To have your 
Bare skin 
Pushed into the
Metal zipper
*Though it does*
It’s just that
You feel gross
And sad
And you 
Wonder whether
People walking past
Can see the
Cloth bunching up
Around your 
Middle thigh
And 
Wonder whether
Anyone
Noticing that 
Would think
“I bet they’re
Fucking naked
Inside of those pants”
And 
To make matters
Even worse
The shorts start
Pushing down
Your actual pants
Filing an 
Amicus brief
To free your butt
When you 
Do not
Want to free your butt
You 
Very reasonably
Want to keep your butt
Covered by pants
So now
On the sidewalk
You try to 
Move the waistband 
Of the shorts
Back to your waist
While keeping
Your hands
Outside of your pants
And frankly
It’s not going well
And now
You see people
Seeing you
Being weird
I mean
Really weird, honestly
So 
Once you finally
Get them 
High enough
To cover your
Bottom butt half
You rush home
To warm up
Some pasta 
Real fast
Before you
Have to go 
Back to work?

Because I 
Definitely 
Haven’t
Ever
Done anything
Like that, 
But I wonder
What it might
Feel like.