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fall 2022
Poems
Silver Linings and Whatnot, You Know?
Every day, Belle rode her bike around the lake.
She’d time herself and take great pride in watching
As the numbers slowly shrank, month after month.
When Dylan started tagging along, Belle rode slower
While they talked and stopped by the boat dock
To hold hands and name the ducks that swam by.
Every day, the trip around the lake took a little longer,
But Belle didn’t mind. She was too warmed by
Dylan’s knit sweater, too happy running her hands through his hair.
One day, a wizard turned Dylan into a rabbit.
And that was a bummer, for sure. But within a week
Belle was biking as fast as ever. Plus, she had a cute bunny.
Silver linings and whatnot, you know?
***
Sexting 1
Florence tried to sext on the bus. Well, she was successfully sexting at home --really in the pocket, to be quite frank--when she remembered she needed to get to Best Buy before seven and sprinted out the door, phone in hand. “I’m so wet,” she texted. What next? What next? “I wish you were here to fill me up.” Here? she giggled. She thought about fucking on the bus for a minute--over by the old man yelling at the woman playing late-00’s R&B on a bluetooth speaker--and was pretty put off by it. The phrase "fuck bus" started floating around in her head and she felt sick.
Florence read his response--”Fuck yeah” followed by “I’m so hard.” What to say? What to say? Then she had a brilliant idea. She asked him, “If I was there [there being the operative word], what would you do to me?” He went on a for a while about all the thumping and licking he would do and how much she would like it. Florence just kept responding, “And then what? And then what?” She wondered whether he was having a good time. I guess this is why people write fan fiction, right?
Florence got off the bus, but didn’t feel any sexier at the Best Buy. She looked at her phone and saw the message she was dreading, “What do you want to do to me?” She texted her friend Alexa for advice. Alexa, who was always so open and honest and sex positive, responded, “Tell him you aren’t in the mood anymore.” Honesty had never occurred to Florence, but she found the idea incredibly appealing. So Florence texted, “I’m in a Best Buy.”
“Fuck, that’s so sexy,” he responded. “I’m in a Bed Bath and Beyond.” Unsure what to do, Florence blocked his number and transferred to a new MFA program.
***
A Modern 12 Bar Blues
I took the train to see my baby
I took the train for three long days
I took the train to see my baby
But my baby already had plans
That in all fairness she did tell me about
But that I had forgotten when buying a train ticket
I miss my baby
Oh, I miss her so
I miss my baby
Who is currently out watching See How They Run
With some friends from college
***
Sexting 2
Stephen took a naked photo to send to a man he met on the internet.
Looking at the image, he felt so proud of his camera work and his
Toned and beautiful body that he wanted to show more than just this
Almost stranger. But who to show it to? And why? If he texted his friends
A sexy naked photo, he worried that they might take it the wrong way
And accuse him of being vain. But then he had a great idea!
Stephen took a black Expo marker, covered his body in political slogans,
And took the photo again. Now, as he fly-papered his neighborhood
With the picture, he knew that he was making the world a better place.
Walking around his neighborhood, Stephen felt a flutter in his stomach
Whenever he saw himself. Sometimes, he would get a long slow look
Of recognition from a neighbor and Stephen would feel like a celebrity.
He had never felt so sexy, so beautiful. And sure, that whole situation
In Palestine isn’t totally sorted out yet. But politics is all about small steps.
***
Fuck!
My parents found
a bat in their toilet
Hanging under the rim
I didn't know that was
A thing that could
Even happen
So now I have
A brand new thing
To always worry about
Fuck! Fuck!
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
***
Winston at the Lake
Every day
Winston rode his bike
Every day
Around the lake
Every day
But it didn't save him
From the vampires.
Death
Death
Death
Death
Death
(*fictional*)
***
Sexting 3
Jeremy sexted for the first time.
He took a picture in his underwear
Sitting on his kitchen table and
Holding one arm over his head.
He was surprised to realize that
He really liked it. He did it again
That night and again the next day.
He just loved the dang thing!
It was so intimate. So private.
It reminded him of that time he
had a poem published. In that
He knew that no one would
See it unless he texted it to them
Directly.
***
Yeah, of course I have Sonnet 116 memorized! I have an English Degree, don’t I?
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove.
It is
Ooooooh
Wait, sorry.
Oh no! It is not love when one
Doth love
Badly
Or
Meanly
Or is just like bored and
Looking for something to do.
Love is patient.
Love is kind.
Love does not boast
Or
You know
Keep throwing things in your face all the time.
To be or not to be
In love?
To be!
For tis nobler in the mind to
Love and love’s lost
Than to have
Stayed home watching TikToks.
And yes,
I carry your heart with me
When I go places.
And yes,
I definitely know you were
Planning to eat those plums
When I ate those plums
And then pretended I didn’t
Know what I was doing.
But I do doth love you
My dearest.
With your soft, hidden smile
And your cold hands that
Move like battalions
Leaving tank tracks down my spine.
In a good way,
To be clear.
It’s super fun.
Fun?
Sure.
Fun.
Why not?
I’m getting distracted.
The point is that
I love you
The way that
Great poets of old loved
Horses
And like…
Sailboats, maybe?
Because
You’re great.
And smart.
And cool.
And I love that about you.
Every day, Belle rode her bike around the lake.
She’d time herself and take great pride in watching
As the numbers slowly shrank, month after month.
When Dylan started tagging along, Belle rode slower
While they talked and stopped by the boat dock
To hold hands and name the ducks that swam by.
Every day, the trip around the lake took a little longer,
But Belle didn’t mind. She was too warmed by
Dylan’s knit sweater, too happy running her hands through his hair.
One day, a wizard turned Dylan into a rabbit.
And that was a bummer, for sure. But within a week
Belle was biking as fast as ever. Plus, she had a cute bunny.
Silver linings and whatnot, you know?
***
Sexting 1
Florence tried to sext on the bus. Well, she was successfully sexting at home --really in the pocket, to be quite frank--when she remembered she needed to get to Best Buy before seven and sprinted out the door, phone in hand. “I’m so wet,” she texted. What next? What next? “I wish you were here to fill me up.” Here? she giggled. She thought about fucking on the bus for a minute--over by the old man yelling at the woman playing late-00’s R&B on a bluetooth speaker--and was pretty put off by it. The phrase "fuck bus" started floating around in her head and she felt sick.
Florence read his response--”Fuck yeah” followed by “I’m so hard.” What to say? What to say? Then she had a brilliant idea. She asked him, “If I was there [there being the operative word], what would you do to me?” He went on a for a while about all the thumping and licking he would do and how much she would like it. Florence just kept responding, “And then what? And then what?” She wondered whether he was having a good time. I guess this is why people write fan fiction, right?
Florence got off the bus, but didn’t feel any sexier at the Best Buy. She looked at her phone and saw the message she was dreading, “What do you want to do to me?” She texted her friend Alexa for advice. Alexa, who was always so open and honest and sex positive, responded, “Tell him you aren’t in the mood anymore.” Honesty had never occurred to Florence, but she found the idea incredibly appealing. So Florence texted, “I’m in a Best Buy.”
“Fuck, that’s so sexy,” he responded. “I’m in a Bed Bath and Beyond.” Unsure what to do, Florence blocked his number and transferred to a new MFA program.
***
A Modern 12 Bar Blues
I took the train to see my baby
I took the train for three long days
I took the train to see my baby
But my baby already had plans
That in all fairness she did tell me about
But that I had forgotten when buying a train ticket
I miss my baby
Oh, I miss her so
I miss my baby
Who is currently out watching See How They Run
With some friends from college
***
Sexting 2
Stephen took a naked photo to send to a man he met on the internet.
Looking at the image, he felt so proud of his camera work and his
Toned and beautiful body that he wanted to show more than just this
Almost stranger. But who to show it to? And why? If he texted his friends
A sexy naked photo, he worried that they might take it the wrong way
And accuse him of being vain. But then he had a great idea!
Stephen took a black Expo marker, covered his body in political slogans,
And took the photo again. Now, as he fly-papered his neighborhood
With the picture, he knew that he was making the world a better place.
Walking around his neighborhood, Stephen felt a flutter in his stomach
Whenever he saw himself. Sometimes, he would get a long slow look
Of recognition from a neighbor and Stephen would feel like a celebrity.
He had never felt so sexy, so beautiful. And sure, that whole situation
In Palestine isn’t totally sorted out yet. But politics is all about small steps.
***
Fuck!
My parents found
a bat in their toilet
Hanging under the rim
I didn't know that was
A thing that could
Even happen
So now I have
A brand new thing
To always worry about
Fuck! Fuck!
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
***
Winston at the Lake
Every day
Winston rode his bike
Every day
Around the lake
Every day
But it didn't save him
From the vampires.
Death
Death
Death
Death
Death
(*fictional*)
***
Sexting 3
Jeremy sexted for the first time.
He took a picture in his underwear
Sitting on his kitchen table and
Holding one arm over his head.
He was surprised to realize that
He really liked it. He did it again
That night and again the next day.
He just loved the dang thing!
It was so intimate. So private.
It reminded him of that time he
had a poem published. In that
He knew that no one would
See it unless he texted it to them
Directly.
***
Yeah, of course I have Sonnet 116 memorized! I have an English Degree, don’t I?
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove.
It is
Ooooooh
Wait, sorry.
Oh no! It is not love when one
Doth love
Badly
Or
Meanly
Or is just like bored and
Looking for something to do.
Love is patient.
Love is kind.
Love does not boast
Or
You know
Keep throwing things in your face all the time.
To be or not to be
In love?
To be!
For tis nobler in the mind to
Love and love’s lost
Than to have
Stayed home watching TikToks.
And yes,
I carry your heart with me
When I go places.
And yes,
I definitely know you were
Planning to eat those plums
When I ate those plums
And then pretended I didn’t
Know what I was doing.
But I do doth love you
My dearest.
With your soft, hidden smile
And your cold hands that
Move like battalions
Leaving tank tracks down my spine.
In a good way,
To be clear.
It’s super fun.
Fun?
Sure.
Fun.
Why not?
I’m getting distracted.
The point is that
I love you
The way that
Great poets of old loved
Horses
And like…
Sailboats, maybe?
Because
You’re great.
And smart.
And cool.
And I love that about you.
Copyright © 2015