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Spring 2022

Regional News You Might Have Missed

News:
The Omaha Tribune: Bellevue North Prom Court Shows encouraging increase in ugly nominees

The Greeley Mountaineer: Spelling bee won by kid who realized he could just use his fucking phone

Kansas City Intelligence: High School Principal fired after listing occupation as “The Michelangelo of Dry Humping” on LinkedIn 

Des Moines Daily: Des Moines Mayor shows off new “Play that funky music, accordion boy!” tattoo

Rapid City Post: South Dakota Governor announces, “I’m not the same woman you once knew. I have a wig now. A rainbow one. Game changer.” 

The Boulder Bugle: Health foods store apologizes after up-charging for “vegan cheesecloth”

Fargo Weekly: Millions of water bottles emptied after fears over Evian Flu. 



Editorials:
Lincoln News: How many times do I need to play Mozart for my plants before they start doing math?

Grand Island Star: The greatest threat to American democracy was the friends we made along the way

The Tulsa Times: Handshakes are becoming a thing of the past; replaced by gentle, businesslike kisses

The Omaha Tribune: Retraction: Yes, Charlie XCX is back with a new album. And yes, we support gay rights. But we apologize for an article published yesterday requesting “all you vanilla haters” to “suck [our] ass.” That language was unprofessional and won’t happen again. If you want to keep having bland, heterosexual intercourse, it is not the Omaha Tribune’s policy to shame you for that. 

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  • Home
  • Fall 2022
    • General News
    • Community Postings
    • Poems
    • Creative Possum Names
    • The Secluded Sisters of the Missouri Valley
    • Regional News You Might Have Missed
    • A Zine/Challenge
    • Found Fiction
  • Summer 2022
    • General News
    • Community Postings
    • Instructions for a Good Time
    • Regional News You Might Have Missed
    • A Letter from the Secluded Sisters of the Missouri Valley
    • Poems
    • Dating App Pics
    • Editorial: On the Fourth of July
  • Spring 2022
    • General News - Spring 2022
    • Community Postings
    • Editorial: On Arming Teachers and Watching Movies
    • Regional News You Might Have Missed
    • A Letter from the Secluded Sisters of the Missouri Valley
    • Well, We Asked
    • Poems
    • Social Skills for Young Children
  • Winter 2022
    • General News
    • Community Postings
    • A Letter from the Secluded Sisters of the Missouri Valley
    • Poems
    • Regional News You Might Have Missed
    • Style Tips
    • On New Years and New Resolutions
    • Children's Corner
    • A Quick Questions
  • Fall 2021
    • General News
    • Community Postings
    • Poems
    • A Letter from the Secluded Sisters of the Missouri Valley
    • Halloween Stories for Pacifists
    • How to Avoid Talking about Sports
    • Icebreaker Questions
    • Regional News
  • Summer 2021
    • General News
    • Community Postings
    • Poems
    • Apologies
    • A Letter from the Secluded Sisters of the Missouri Valley
    • Regional News You Might Have Missed
    • New Rules for the Monthly Open Mics
    • A Recipe for Fruit Pizza that Can Save a Relationship
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