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Spring 2022
Regional News You Might Have Missed
News:
The Omaha Tribune: Bellevue North Prom Court Shows encouraging increase in ugly nominees
The Greeley Mountaineer: Spelling bee won by kid who realized he could just use his fucking phone
Kansas City Intelligence: High School Principal fired after listing occupation as “The Michelangelo of Dry Humping” on LinkedIn
Des Moines Daily: Des Moines Mayor shows off new “Play that funky music, accordion boy!” tattoo
Rapid City Post: South Dakota Governor announces, “I’m not the same woman you once knew. I have a wig now. A rainbow one. Game changer.”
The Boulder Bugle: Health foods store apologizes after up-charging for “vegan cheesecloth”
Fargo Weekly: Millions of water bottles emptied after fears over Evian Flu.
Editorials:
Lincoln News: How many times do I need to play Mozart for my plants before they start doing math?
Grand Island Star: The greatest threat to American democracy was the friends we made along the way
The Tulsa Times: Handshakes are becoming a thing of the past; replaced by gentle, businesslike kisses
The Omaha Tribune: Retraction: Yes, Charlie XCX is back with a new album. And yes, we support gay rights. But we apologize for an article published yesterday requesting “all you vanilla haters” to “suck [our] ass.” That language was unprofessional and won’t happen again. If you want to keep having bland, heterosexual intercourse, it is not the Omaha Tribune’s policy to shame you for that.
The Omaha Tribune: Bellevue North Prom Court Shows encouraging increase in ugly nominees
The Greeley Mountaineer: Spelling bee won by kid who realized he could just use his fucking phone
Kansas City Intelligence: High School Principal fired after listing occupation as “The Michelangelo of Dry Humping” on LinkedIn
Des Moines Daily: Des Moines Mayor shows off new “Play that funky music, accordion boy!” tattoo
Rapid City Post: South Dakota Governor announces, “I’m not the same woman you once knew. I have a wig now. A rainbow one. Game changer.”
The Boulder Bugle: Health foods store apologizes after up-charging for “vegan cheesecloth”
Fargo Weekly: Millions of water bottles emptied after fears over Evian Flu.
Editorials:
Lincoln News: How many times do I need to play Mozart for my plants before they start doing math?
Grand Island Star: The greatest threat to American democracy was the friends we made along the way
The Tulsa Times: Handshakes are becoming a thing of the past; replaced by gentle, businesslike kisses
The Omaha Tribune: Retraction: Yes, Charlie XCX is back with a new album. And yes, we support gay rights. But we apologize for an article published yesterday requesting “all you vanilla haters” to “suck [our] ass.” That language was unprofessional and won’t happen again. If you want to keep having bland, heterosexual intercourse, it is not the Omaha Tribune’s policy to shame you for that.
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