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spring 2025

Question 4

One of your very best friends calls and asks if they can come over. They tell you that they have had a brilliant idea and can’t wait to tell you about it. You invite them to your home and they arrive even faster than you expected. When you ask them what the big deal is, they launch into a speech. 

“I was reading this library book about psychology and I think I have figured out what is going on with politics in America. Projection! People project their insecurities onto their political enemies and then the inverse of their insecurities become their political identity. 

“Republicans are always talking about freedom, but who are more ‘free’ than childless atheists? Whose freedom is more sacrificed to the forces of power around them than a religious fundamentalist with a full time job and multiple children living somewhere where the government enforces conservative morality with threats of imprisonment? 

“Democrats are generally better off than Republicans. They are more likely to be college educated, white collar workers who benefit from the corruption of our current system. Urban socialists have failed to make measurable strides in creating new systems of community that could replace the religious and ethnic power systems they have largely abandoned; systems of communal power more often maintained in conservative communities. And yet the values most commonly espoused by liberals are of community and supporting those in need. 

“I know that this is an oversimplification. The country doesn’t split easily in two. In time, I am happy to talk through all of these details and nuances with you. Right now, though, there is something more important I need to get to: A solution!

“According to my psychology book, the problem is that people are doing this subconsciously. They are not aware that they are projecting. So they need someone who will show them what’s actually going on beneath the surface; someone who will explain what projection is and why they are wrong for thinking what they think! And I think that I am that person. 

“Now, I know what you might be thinking: ‘This is the first time you have ever read about psychology and now your whole political identity is about how everybody else doesn’t know enough about psychology. Aren’t you just projecting, too?’ And the answer, of course, is no. Because I am not going to make my campaign about psychology. I am going to make it about giving people grilled cheese sandwiches. I already know that I don’t like grilled cheese sandwiches, so that means I can’t be projecting.  As long as everything stays in my conscious mind, psychology can’t touch me. It’s called reverse projecting. It’s a new thing I invented.

“Plus, I think that people are more likely to come to my events if they think that they are going to get a grilled cheese sandwich. Which is crazy, because I think grilled cheese sandwiches are nasty. But whatever guides the chickens to the feed, you know what I mean? And while everybody is standing around eating grilled cheese sandwiches, I will explain my whole projection hypothesis. I don’t think that I have a very good chance of winning the election, but I earnestly believe that I could have a serious impact on our political discourse as a nation. 

“This is where you come in. Until I can start bringing in money to hire a staff, I’m trying to get my friends to help make grilled cheese sandwiches at my political rallies.

"I’ll work around your schedule. I’ll buy all of the materials. I know that this is a big favor, but you are someone that I trust and this is something that is important to me.”


Do you help your friend make grilled cheese sandwiches? 
How many events would you volunteer at before stopping?
If you were going to get involved with politics, how would you reverse project? 

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  • This Shouldn't Have Happened
  • Spring 2024 (Photography)
    • Gaps Between Buildings
    • January 6th, 2024
    • Fake Flyers
    • Public Art #1
    • Signs
    • March 7th, 2024
    • Do You Poke Smot?
    • Public Art #2
    • September 30th, 2023
    • Pictures of the Ground
  • Winter 2024 (Letters)
    • A Form Letter for Newspapers
    • A Form Letter for Art Museums
    • A Form Letter for Film Critics
    • A Form Letter for College Professors
    • Horny Copypasta to Text People on Arbor Day
    • 20 Wonderful Messages to Write Inside a Card
  • Fall 2023 (Poetry)
    • Adrianne Lenker from the band Big Thief visits Nebraska for the Maha Music Festival
    • Three Poems That Were Written on the Same Day
    • The Silver Dollar Flapjacks of Poetry
    • Regular and Irregular Meter
    • A Question
    • Business Poetry
    • Regional News Formatted Poetically
    • The Mental Health Awareness Decade
    • A Text Exchange in Which a Secret is Revealed
    • Maybe the Closest I Have Come to Writing a Perfect Poem
    • Three Poems
    • A Series of Thoughts I Had While Watching All That Jazz
  • Summer 2023
    • General News
    • Community Postings
    • Poems
    • Regional News You Might Have Missed
    • How to Scare Your Friends Through the Mail
    • Genital-less Images
  • Spring 2023
    • General News
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    • Poems
    • Regional News You Might Have Missed
    • Instructions for a Good Time Pt. 2
    • Romantic Texts to Send Anyone at Any Time
    • Regional News You Might Have Missed
  • Winter 2023
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    • Best of 2022
    • Opinion: On AI Generated Art
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      • A Letter from the Secluded Sisters of the Missouri Valley
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  • Fall 2021
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    • Halloween Stories for Pacifists
    • How to Avoid Talking about Sports
    • Icebreaker Questions
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  • Summer 2021
    • General News
    • Community Postings
    • Poems
    • Apologies
    • A Letter from the Secluded Sisters of the Missouri Valley
    • Regional News You Might Have Missed
    • New Rules for the Monthly Open Mics
    • A Recipe for Fruit Pizza that Can Save a Relationship
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