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Sensuality
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Urbanism
Part 2
My plans of sleeping in were dashed before dawn. What is the world coming to when I’m up before the sun is? Apparently, the gossip columnist for The New York Star was two tables over from James and me last night. She had included us in her column and everyone I’d ever met in New York City was calling to ask whether I’d seen it. I had never considered that my dating life could be celebrity gossip, but maybe if you live in one place long enough, you become famous by default.
The one person who didn’t call was James. As I was praying that he was still snoring somewhere, I had to ask myself: But what if it wasn’t even a date?
Sure, we’d had a wonderful dinner. We’d talked. We’d laughed. But that was pretty much it. After dinner, we hugged and parted ways. Everything had fallen into place so easily the night before that it didn’t even occur to me to freak out about it until it was already in the paper.
Luckily, right before I went full freak mode, I received the exact right call.
James: Hey Carrie! I hope I’m not calling too early.
Carrie: No, I’ve been up for hours.
James: Oh, good. Great.
Carrie: What’s up?
James: Have you been outside yet? I mean, it’s really beautiful out there. Don’t you think?
Carrie: No, I haven’t been outside yet. Have you been outside yet?
James: Oh, no. I just woke up.
That was one correct answer. I thought I would go for two.
Carrie: I had a really great time last night. Did you?
James: I don’t know what it’s like over there, but the leaves on the tree right outside my window are turning the richest orange. God, it’s just out of my reach. I’m trying to see if I can grab a couple, but I think if I lean any further out, I’m gonna fall.
Carrie: Not to be rude, but…is that what you called to tell me? I’m kinda expecting another call. My phone's been ringing off the hook all morning.
James: Sorry, I got distracted. It’s just that my phone is right by the window with this tree, so every time I go to make a call I’m…
Carrie: James!
James: Sorry.
Carrie: That’s a-okay. What’d you call about, James?
James: Well, I had a great time yesterday and I was wondering if you wanted to tag along while I reviewed another restaurant tonight.
And that was correct answer number two.
Carrie: Maybe, what restaurant?
James: It’s a gourmet meatball place in Alphabet City.
Carrie: Meatballs, huh? Yeah, I guess I could move some things around in my schedule.
James: Incredible. I’m so glad you’re coming. Meet me at the office at six and we can take a cab together.
***
Later that morning, I got brunch with the only three people in Manhattan who didn’t think that James and I were dating.
Samantha: Honey, meatballs are not good.
Charlotte: They are gourmet meatballs, right?
Carrie: He didn’t choose meatballs.
Miranda: You chose the meatballs?
Carrie: No, I did not choose the meatballs. It’s an assignment from the paper.
Miranda: That’s even worse!
Carrie: Maybe it’s nice. We’re colleagues. I’ll write about him in my column and he’ll write about me in his.
Samantha: Well, did he write about you?
Charlotte: Umm…
Carrie: I don’t know. That hadn’t even occurred to me.
Charlotte: Well…
Samantha: Maybe we should find a copy of the paper. See what it says?
Charlotte: Errrr…
Miranda: Charlotte, do you know what it says?
Charlotte: Dinner companion.
Carrie: What?
Charlotte: He called you his dinner companion.
Carrie: Well, companion’s good. Right?
Samantha: Errrr…
Carrie: Now don’t you start going all Charlotte on me now!
Charlotte: Hey!
Miranda: I don’t think it’s good or bad. I think that’s what you say when you’re trying to say nothing.
Samantha: I mean, when you are reading a restaurant review, who cares if the writer’s single or not?
Carrie: I care!
Miranda: He didn’t mention the gossip section when he called?
Carrie: No, but I think he’d just woken up.
Charlotte: Just woken up? You said that your phone was ringing off the hook all morning.
Samantha: But he’s a man. Who knows if he even has friends.
Carrie: Can we talk about something else for a minute?
Miranda: Well you know who I got a call from this morning? Christian! He wants to meet up again this week.
Carrie: Is he looking for a dinner companion?
Miranda: No, he’s taking me to Central Park.
Charlotte: Oh, that’s so romantic. And in the fall? That’s so nice, Miranda.
Miranda: Thank you, Charlotte!
Charlotte: Christian’s such a nice guy. And I’m so glad he’s putting himself back out there.
Carrie: Back out there?
Samantha: Where were they keeping him?
Charlotte: Oh, it’s nothing. It’s sweet really. I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about.
Miranda: How about you tell me what it is and then I’ll decide how much to worry about it?
Charlotte: Do you all remember how there were no people in the photos last night?
Miranda: Yes.
Carrie: You said that that was his thing.
Charlotte: Well, it’s his thing right now.
Miranda: Then what did his thing used to be?
Charlotte: Before this current phase, all of his pictures were of his ex wife.
Carrie: Oh my god.
Charlotte: Current wife, at the time.
Miranda: I’m sure that made it easier to schedule.
Charlotte: It was five years ago.
Samantha: Well there you go. Five years isn’t that bad.
Carrie: But Charlotte said that he’s putting himself back out there. Does that mean he hasn’t been on a date in five years?
Charlotte: I don’t think so.
Miranda: Wait! What exactly do you not think?
Charlotte: I’ve never talked to him about his dating life. We only ever talk about his photography. He hasn’t taken a picture of another woman since the divorce, but that doesn’t mean he hasn’t been on any dates.
Carrie: Maybe it means he’s only dating vampires.
Miranda: Great, so now my best case scenario is getting turned into a vampire by a jealous ex.
Samantha: Or maybe you’ll get turned on by some zealous sex.
Miranda: I don’t even want to talk about this anymore. It’s too depressing.
Samantha: Well I’m going to have to take off soon. I’m meeting the most handsome man at the Guggenheim. We were having this marvelous conversation at the gallery last night before he had to run off.
Charlotte: Who?
Samantha: Declan Albarn.
Charlotte: Oh no! Samantha, he’s married.
Samantha: And he works at The Frick Collection. Double infidelity.
Carrie: How will you top yourself next?
Samantha: I don’t plan these things. I just follow the opportunities presented to me. And this one was served on a silver platter.
Charlotte: I don’t want to talk about this anymore.
Samantha: Fine with me. I’ll see you ladies tomorrow.
Charlotte: Wait, before you go. I wanted to ask if any of you sent me that basket last night?
Carrie: The giant basket you were so mad about at the opening?
Charlotte: Well I realized that I hadn’t been very grateful. It was inconvenient–
Samantha: And ugly.
Charlotte: –and I had no place to put it, but it was still a sweet gesture. So if any of you sent it, I just want to say thank you.
Samantha: Well it wasn’t me.
Miranda: Or me.
Carrie: Nope. Not me.
Charlotte: Well, okay then.
The one person who didn’t call was James. As I was praying that he was still snoring somewhere, I had to ask myself: But what if it wasn’t even a date?
Sure, we’d had a wonderful dinner. We’d talked. We’d laughed. But that was pretty much it. After dinner, we hugged and parted ways. Everything had fallen into place so easily the night before that it didn’t even occur to me to freak out about it until it was already in the paper.
Luckily, right before I went full freak mode, I received the exact right call.
James: Hey Carrie! I hope I’m not calling too early.
Carrie: No, I’ve been up for hours.
James: Oh, good. Great.
Carrie: What’s up?
James: Have you been outside yet? I mean, it’s really beautiful out there. Don’t you think?
Carrie: No, I haven’t been outside yet. Have you been outside yet?
James: Oh, no. I just woke up.
That was one correct answer. I thought I would go for two.
Carrie: I had a really great time last night. Did you?
James: I don’t know what it’s like over there, but the leaves on the tree right outside my window are turning the richest orange. God, it’s just out of my reach. I’m trying to see if I can grab a couple, but I think if I lean any further out, I’m gonna fall.
Carrie: Not to be rude, but…is that what you called to tell me? I’m kinda expecting another call. My phone's been ringing off the hook all morning.
James: Sorry, I got distracted. It’s just that my phone is right by the window with this tree, so every time I go to make a call I’m…
Carrie: James!
James: Sorry.
Carrie: That’s a-okay. What’d you call about, James?
James: Well, I had a great time yesterday and I was wondering if you wanted to tag along while I reviewed another restaurant tonight.
And that was correct answer number two.
Carrie: Maybe, what restaurant?
James: It’s a gourmet meatball place in Alphabet City.
Carrie: Meatballs, huh? Yeah, I guess I could move some things around in my schedule.
James: Incredible. I’m so glad you’re coming. Meet me at the office at six and we can take a cab together.
***
Later that morning, I got brunch with the only three people in Manhattan who didn’t think that James and I were dating.
Samantha: Honey, meatballs are not good.
Charlotte: They are gourmet meatballs, right?
Carrie: He didn’t choose meatballs.
Miranda: You chose the meatballs?
Carrie: No, I did not choose the meatballs. It’s an assignment from the paper.
Miranda: That’s even worse!
Carrie: Maybe it’s nice. We’re colleagues. I’ll write about him in my column and he’ll write about me in his.
Samantha: Well, did he write about you?
Charlotte: Umm…
Carrie: I don’t know. That hadn’t even occurred to me.
Charlotte: Well…
Samantha: Maybe we should find a copy of the paper. See what it says?
Charlotte: Errrr…
Miranda: Charlotte, do you know what it says?
Charlotte: Dinner companion.
Carrie: What?
Charlotte: He called you his dinner companion.
Carrie: Well, companion’s good. Right?
Samantha: Errrr…
Carrie: Now don’t you start going all Charlotte on me now!
Charlotte: Hey!
Miranda: I don’t think it’s good or bad. I think that’s what you say when you’re trying to say nothing.
Samantha: I mean, when you are reading a restaurant review, who cares if the writer’s single or not?
Carrie: I care!
Miranda: He didn’t mention the gossip section when he called?
Carrie: No, but I think he’d just woken up.
Charlotte: Just woken up? You said that your phone was ringing off the hook all morning.
Samantha: But he’s a man. Who knows if he even has friends.
Carrie: Can we talk about something else for a minute?
Miranda: Well you know who I got a call from this morning? Christian! He wants to meet up again this week.
Carrie: Is he looking for a dinner companion?
Miranda: No, he’s taking me to Central Park.
Charlotte: Oh, that’s so romantic. And in the fall? That’s so nice, Miranda.
Miranda: Thank you, Charlotte!
Charlotte: Christian’s such a nice guy. And I’m so glad he’s putting himself back out there.
Carrie: Back out there?
Samantha: Where were they keeping him?
Charlotte: Oh, it’s nothing. It’s sweet really. I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about.
Miranda: How about you tell me what it is and then I’ll decide how much to worry about it?
Charlotte: Do you all remember how there were no people in the photos last night?
Miranda: Yes.
Carrie: You said that that was his thing.
Charlotte: Well, it’s his thing right now.
Miranda: Then what did his thing used to be?
Charlotte: Before this current phase, all of his pictures were of his ex wife.
Carrie: Oh my god.
Charlotte: Current wife, at the time.
Miranda: I’m sure that made it easier to schedule.
Charlotte: It was five years ago.
Samantha: Well there you go. Five years isn’t that bad.
Carrie: But Charlotte said that he’s putting himself back out there. Does that mean he hasn’t been on a date in five years?
Charlotte: I don’t think so.
Miranda: Wait! What exactly do you not think?
Charlotte: I’ve never talked to him about his dating life. We only ever talk about his photography. He hasn’t taken a picture of another woman since the divorce, but that doesn’t mean he hasn’t been on any dates.
Carrie: Maybe it means he’s only dating vampires.
Miranda: Great, so now my best case scenario is getting turned into a vampire by a jealous ex.
Samantha: Or maybe you’ll get turned on by some zealous sex.
Miranda: I don’t even want to talk about this anymore. It’s too depressing.
Samantha: Well I’m going to have to take off soon. I’m meeting the most handsome man at the Guggenheim. We were having this marvelous conversation at the gallery last night before he had to run off.
Charlotte: Who?
Samantha: Declan Albarn.
Charlotte: Oh no! Samantha, he’s married.
Samantha: And he works at The Frick Collection. Double infidelity.
Carrie: How will you top yourself next?
Samantha: I don’t plan these things. I just follow the opportunities presented to me. And this one was served on a silver platter.
Charlotte: I don’t want to talk about this anymore.
Samantha: Fine with me. I’ll see you ladies tomorrow.
Charlotte: Wait, before you go. I wanted to ask if any of you sent me that basket last night?
Carrie: The giant basket you were so mad about at the opening?
Charlotte: Well I realized that I hadn’t been very grateful. It was inconvenient–
Samantha: And ugly.
Charlotte: –and I had no place to put it, but it was still a sweet gesture. So if any of you sent it, I just want to say thank you.
Samantha: Well it wasn’t me.
Miranda: Or me.
Carrie: Nope. Not me.
Charlotte: Well, okay then.
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