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Summer 2022

Community Postings

From: Samantha J. 
To: Hungry Foodies

Would you like some guacamole? It’s my mom’s recipe. You know her secret ingredient? She replaces the onions with cake. $30

***

From: Jo R.
To: Joe T.

Your mother was right about you! You are 187 centimeters tall. Such a precise woman. 

***

From: Green Grass Grocers in Yahoo
To: Lovers of books and veggies

Nostalgic for Borders? We’re just like it but smaller and we sell vegetables. 

***

From: Steve’s Scarecrow Warehouse
To: People*

Life hack! Scarecrows scare roommates, too!

*More specifically: People looking to keep roommates from snooping through your closet while you are spending the weekend house-sitting for your friend Stevie and her weird, rich husband. 

***

From: Debra S. 
To: Elizabeth Z. 

I know that when you say, "That's so European," you mean, "Why can't you cook one fucking thing without olives?" I like olives. So sue me. If you don’t like it, then go fuck a fork.

***

From: Mom
To: My lovely children

I'm not angry. And I'm not disappointed either. I'm just hungry, tired, and a medium amount of horny.

***

From: You know who!
To: My fucking sister!

"If you've got it, flaunt it" doesn't apply when you are using MY roasted apples.

***

From: Rosie
To: Tristan and Guy

If you don’t cut out all that racket-ball, I'm going to squash you!
That’s a joke, but you do need to stop playing racquetball so loud in the den. Some of us are trying to record an audiobook. 

***

From: Stephanie
To: Rhiannon 

Carrots are not snacks. I mean, they are snacks, but you can’t invite me over for snacks and then toss me a bag of baby carrots. Please reach out and let me know what you plan to do to make this situation right. 

***

From: Hank G.
To: Scientists

Did you know there is a school called Rice? You learn something new every day. That's a food word!

***

From: David C.
To: Paul B.

It's always “grotesque display of wealth” this and “grotesque display of wealth” that. But is that such a bad thing? I know you are a Marxist, but you're also always talking about body horror. I'm just saying it's mixed messages.

***

Upcoming events 
Monthly Roundtable Discussions (Second Tuesday at 8pm):
What's Good for the Goose is Goof for the Laughter: A taxonomy of funny looking birds (September)
Ignorance is Chris: We all get together to teach Chris a thing or two [In a good way! Chris is 100% onboard] (October)
Well That's a Damned Train: Learn the difference between trains and really long trucks (November)

Cinematic Feasts: A Harvest Celebration of Food Movies
September 17th: Tampopo
October 1st: Fresh Kill
October 15th: Julie & Julia
October 29th: Volver
November 12th: Night of the Living Dead 

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  • Fall 2023 (Poetry)
    • Adrianne Lenker from the band Big Thief visits Nebraska for the Maha Music Festival
    • Three Poems That Were Written on the Same Day
    • The Silver Dollar Flapjacks of Poetry
    • Regular and Irregular Meter
    • A Question
    • Business Poetry
    • Regional News Formatted Poetically
    • The Mental Health Awareness Decade
    • A Text Exchange in Which a Secret is Revealed
    • Maybe the Closest I Have Come to Writing a Perfect Poem
    • Three Poems
    • A Series of Thoughts I Had While Watching All That Jazz
  • Summer 2023
    • General News
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    • How to Scare Your Friends Through the Mail
    • Genital-less Images
  • Spring 2023
    • General News
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    • Instructions for a Good Time Pt. 2
    • Romantic Texts to Send Anyone at Any Time
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    • Opinion: On AI Generated Art
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  • Summer 2022
    • Spring 2022 >
      • General News - Spring 2022
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      • Editorial: On Arming Teachers and Watching Movies
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      • A Letter from the Secluded Sisters of the Missouri Valley
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  • Fall 2021
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    • Halloween Stories for Pacifists
    • How to Avoid Talking about Sports
    • Icebreaker Questions
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  • Summer 2021
    • General News
    • Community Postings
    • Poems
    • Apologies
    • A Letter from the Secluded Sisters of the Missouri Valley
    • Regional News You Might Have Missed
    • New Rules for the Monthly Open Mics
    • A Recipe for Fruit Pizza that Can Save a Relationship
  • About
  • Home
  • Sampler
  • Spring 2025
    • Question 1
    • Question 2
    • Question 3
    • Question 4
    • Question 5
    • Question 6
    • Question 7
    • An Aperitif
    • Printable Zine
  • Winter 2025
  • Fall 2024
    • General News
    • Community Postings
    • Poems
    • Business Man Dan
    • On Lying to Yourself
    • Movie Idea No. #3
    • Movie Idea No. #4
    • Movie Idea No. #7
  • This Shouldn't Have Happened
  • Spring 2024 (Photography)
    • Gaps Between Buildings
    • January 6th, 2024
    • Fake Flyers
    • Public Art #1
    • Signs
    • March 7th, 2024
    • Do You Poke Smot?
    • Public Art #2
    • September 30th, 2023
    • Pictures of the Ground
  • Winter 2024 (Letters)
    • A Form Letter for Newspapers
    • A Form Letter for Art Museums
    • A Form Letter for Film Critics
    • A Form Letter for College Professors
    • Horny Copypasta to Text People on Arbor Day
    • 20 Wonderful Messages to Write Inside a Card
  • Fall 2023 (Poetry)
    • Adrianne Lenker from the band Big Thief visits Nebraska for the Maha Music Festival
    • Three Poems That Were Written on the Same Day
    • The Silver Dollar Flapjacks of Poetry
    • Regular and Irregular Meter
    • A Question
    • Business Poetry
    • Regional News Formatted Poetically
    • The Mental Health Awareness Decade
    • A Text Exchange in Which a Secret is Revealed
    • Maybe the Closest I Have Come to Writing a Perfect Poem
    • Three Poems
    • A Series of Thoughts I Had While Watching All That Jazz
  • Summer 2023
    • General News
    • Community Postings
    • Poems
    • Regional News You Might Have Missed
    • How to Scare Your Friends Through the Mail
    • Genital-less Images
  • Spring 2023
    • General News
    • Community Postings
    • Poems
    • Regional News You Might Have Missed
    • Instructions for a Good Time Pt. 2
    • Romantic Texts to Send Anyone at Any Time
    • Regional News You Might Have Missed
  • Winter 2023
    • General News
    • Community Postings
    • Poems
    • Best of 2022
    • Opinion: On AI Generated Art
  • Fall 2022
    • General News
    • Community Postings
    • Poems
    • Creative Possum Names
    • The Secluded Sisters of the Missouri Valley
    • Regional News You Might Have Missed
    • A Zine/Challenge
    • Found Fiction
  • Summer 2022
    • Spring 2022 >
      • General News - Spring 2022
      • Community Postings
      • Editorial: On Arming Teachers and Watching Movies
      • Regional News You Might Have Missed
      • A Letter from the Secluded Sisters of the Missouri Valley
      • Well, We Asked
      • Poems
      • Social Skills for Young Children
    • General News
    • Community Postings
    • Instructions for a Good Time
    • Regional News You Might Have Missed
    • A Letter from the Secluded Sisters of the Missouri Valley
    • Poems
    • Dating App Pics
    • Editorial: On the Fourth of July
  • Winter 2022
    • General News
    • Community Postings
    • A Letter from the Secluded Sisters of the Missouri Valley
    • Poems
    • Regional News You Might Have Missed
    • Style Tips
    • On New Years and New Resolutions
    • Children's Corner
    • A Quick Questions
  • Fall 2021
    • General News
    • Community Postings
    • Poems
    • A Letter from the Secluded Sisters of the Missouri Valley
    • Halloween Stories for Pacifists
    • How to Avoid Talking about Sports
    • Icebreaker Questions
    • Regional News
  • Summer 2021
    • General News
    • Community Postings
    • Poems
    • Apologies
    • A Letter from the Secluded Sisters of the Missouri Valley
    • Regional News You Might Have Missed
    • New Rules for the Monthly Open Mics
    • A Recipe for Fruit Pizza that Can Save a Relationship
  • About